The Pressure of Finding Your Passion

December 29, 2017

I completely admire those people who know what they want to do. They have a clear plan, goals and an unwavering ambition to get to where they want to be. You know the ones, those total 'Girlboss' types that strut around London in their heeled ankle boots and catch up on emails on Macbooks when on the train (instead of just gorming out the window or stalking people on Insta like I do)...

But what if you don't know what you want to do? What if you've not even thought about what you'll be doing in ten years? What if you're going through the motions, waiting for something to capture your interest? What if heeled boots make your feet hurt?

The only reason I went to university was because I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I certainly didn't want to stay working in a pub until I figured it out. So I chose to study English. Simply because it was the only thing I could say I did okay at in school and because I liked to read.

I know... £50,000 worth of debt because I just wanted to read books for a bit. No ragrets.

As my last year of university rolled around, I started to get asked the dreaded question: What are you going to do after uni? My usual answer: Uhh, I don't KNOW Aunt Cath. Please fuck off and leave me to drown in this bottle of cheap Rosé. Thanks.

It's exhausting trying to figure out what jobs or courses to look for. You want me to decide, at 18, after a night of Strongbow Dark Fruits at the pub quiz, what I want to do for the rest of my life? I'm 23 now and I still don't bloody know (and I don't even drink Strongbow anymore)!

And as much as I admire those girls that are killing it at the peak of this crazy influencer game, it doesn't half make me feel like I'm wasting my life away in my boring office job and Primark shoes. Where's my trips to Paris? When will I get sent designer handbags and be able to complain that I go on too many flights? Am I not working hard enough? Should I be full time blogging and working a full time job to pay the bills?

Who's to know?

So I'm making a sort of anti-New Year's Resolution: chill the fuck out and stop comparing your career to everyone else's. 

Work to pay the bills but rest and enjoy yourself. Blog when you wanna blog and stop expecting your blog to become a thing when you only put 10% effort into it. Travel as much as you can afford. 

Stop. Comparing. Yourself. To. Others. 

Maybe you'll find a job you love, maybe you wont. Some things you just can't plan and the future is one of them. And that's okay.

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