Life of a Graduate: My Quarter-Life Crisis

January 05, 2017

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Having finished university at the end of May, and graduating in July, two days after starting my first 'proper' job, you'd have thought I'd have accepted adult life and been on my merry way going through the motions until I happily retire.

In reality, I'm struggling every day to come to terms with the fact that I go to work and do a real job in an office alongside a board of people who run a global organisation. It blows my mind.

I have never been an anxious person. In fact, I'm generally very thick-skinned and tend to cope with things okay (i.e. through sarcasm and food). But these last six months I've found myself reading emails 12 times before sending them, worrying so much about my choice of words to my boss to get to sleep at night and generally unable and unwilling to make any decisions.

In the last four months alone I've graduated from university, moved back to mum and dads (and lost a certain amount of independence and personal space - although forever grateful to them), left a three-year relatively enjoyable and comfortable part-time job, started a new job with much more responsibility, moved out of mum and dads, moved into a flat with my long-term boyfriend (still scary!), had to start paying my own bills, rent, tax, tv license (wtf??) and generally had a complete life overhaul.

Not to mention the realisation of £50,000 worth of student debt...

I'm not saying that what I'm doing and where I am isn't positive. I'm very grateful for what I've managed to achieve but it's been a lot to deal with. Leaving education after over fifteen years and being spit out into a world already so full of chaos and change is terrifying.

So in a bid to find some clarity in the chaos that has been the quickest 12 months of my life, I decided I would start blogging again and hopefully ease my new found anxiety.

Is this what real life is supposed to feel like?

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